Beep, beep!

Would the world be better off without the confining rules of the road? Most certainly not! [anthypophora] What would ensue would be detrimental to everyone, drivers and walkers alike [division]. Chaos, danger, blaming! [asyndeton] That is what would happen.

This Thanksgiving, I am grateful for the rules that guide road conduct. I’m am grateful for the happy green lights [personification], the cautious yellows [metonymy], and the warning reds. I am grateful for the yield signs and right of way laws that allow me to get to and from work without question about who can drive, where, and when.

I am grateful for clarifying ambiguity, the ability to correctly place blame in the instance of collision, and for the steps that keep me safe and sound and free from the guilt of causing an accident. It is no small thing to get into an accident and be unsure about fault [litotes]. With all the gazillion [hyperbole] idiotic things that I see happen on the road WITH the laws, I would hate to see what would happen without them!

If I had the choice of any car, I would not be driving my frail, little, and old Geo Metro, Leonard, but as it is, he’s all I’ve got and I’m glad to know that I am a bit more [degree] safe because of the laws.

Homework, Thank You!

      It comes in all shapes and sizes.  It comes during the day, and even the night (contrarium).  O homework, how you doth bequeath my understanding with experience (personification)!  Even as the delicate hands of angel caress those of the weary (comparison), do my hands attend to thee (metaphor).  Thou are deserving.  “The pen is mightier than the sword” they say, and the luster of ink shines ever brighter in this world of doom and woe (metonymy).  The earth hath circumnavigated the sun many times with thee as my faithful companion.    At moments might I thee blame, but alas, it is on the contrary. Only canst I thee fail (hyperbaton).  I enjoyeth the satisfaction that cometh when I complete thee, even more so when I have done so in a timely and sensible manner.  What ho? Is that the squawking (onomatopoeia) of disapproval?  Doth mine ears betray me?  Roommate, you complaineth in the background, but you understandeth not, nor doth the ignorant (apostrophe).  No one understandeth you, o homework, the way I do, because “you’ve got a friend in me.”

Eloquence in a Cloud

 "1 Wherefore seeing we also are compassed about with so great a cloud of witnesses, let us lay aside every weight, and the sin which doth so easily beset us, and let us run with patience the race that is set before us,

 2 Looking unto Jesus the author and finisher of our faith;"

                 -Hebrews 12: 1-2

Metonymy

It is argued that there is a hint of metonymy displayed through this biblical reference in the fact that something or someone is referenced through their attributes. In this reference, Jesus is called the "author" or the "finisher of our faith". He is clearly recognized as Jesus but if you take away the first part of the sentence and it reads "looking unto the author and finisher of our faith", this would be a clear example of perfect metonymy. He would be mentioned without even mentioning His name. 

Synecdoche

Some may even argue that there is an example of synecdoche in this scripture. "A cloud of witnesses" could initially be interpreted as a reference to all of the angels in the heavens looking down upon us to try to persuade us to set aside our sins. With that being said, a cloud of witnesses is really alluding to a much bigger group than what it appears at first sight. This would be exemplary of a synecdoche.