Ode to the Sandwich

Many people do not think about how they could improve their culinary satisfaction by changing the way they eat simple foods. Take an ordinary sandwich for example. Sandwiches are usually a quick meal for when you are in a hurry and they are usually not very remarkable, unless they are prepared properly. A properly prepared sandwich is one that is assembled and then cut in half diagonally so as to ensure the most delicious eating experience [Definition]. You may think this is ridiculous, since the uncut and cut sandwiches should have the same flavor due to being composed of the same ingredients. However, if the sandwich is cut in half then the flavors are much better distributed [Antecedent/Consequence]. Sometimes an uncut sandwich allows toppings to fall out of the opposite side of the bread; virtually a sandwich disaster!

When you eat a sandwich the ideal situation is to get a piece of tender meat, succulent cheese, crispy lettuce, and juicy tomato in each bite, or else the experience of the sandwich is not complete [Whole/parts]. The timing of the sandwich eating process is also important. Cutting the sandwich in half allows for the eater to enjoy the soft, inside bread while still in the beginning stages of eating and leaves the crust for when the eater has already begun to take the sustenance for granted [Cause/Effect]. If eating an uncut sandwich is plain and ordinary then eating a sandwich cut in half is fun and exciting [Contraries]! After all, eating an uncut sandwich is like drinking a cup of hot cocoa. It tastes good, but it is much better if a little more effort was put it, either in the form of adding whipped cream or simply cutting it in half [Similarity/Difference]. Now, you may be hesitant to go out of your way and try to make a properly prepared sandwich, but after you try one you will be cutting all of your sandwiches in half [Past Fact/Future Fact]. Don’t be tempted to get lazy and say that an uncut sandwich is good enough because a properly prepared sandwich is infinitely better [Degrees]. I’m just saying that there is a reason that Subway cuts all of their sandwiches in half [Authority], but don’t take my word for it. Go with your gut instinct and try it for yourself, cut your next sandwich in half before you eat it [Supernatural]!

Men vs. Women

Because men and women are so different, men cannot
understand women

Like they all say, “Women are from Venus, men are from Mars” [Maxim/Proverbs].  It is therefore impossible for men to truly know the mind of a girl [Possible/Impossible] because men and women are so different.  Women are like mystery novels with the conclusions ripped out [Similarity/Difference].  Although men may act clueless while “reading these novel,” they are not completely clueless [Contradiction].  However, if women don’t even know how to understand themselves—and they don’t—then men certainly cannot comprehend women [Degree].  The word women might have the word men in it, but they are completely different creatures [Notation and conjugates].  God made women and men with different purposes and personalities [The supernatural] for a reason.  These divine purposes separate men and women quite a bit.  Because women and men are so different, men obviously cannot understand women.  Even registered psychologist Dr. Noam Shpancer agrees that men find it incredibly hard to understand women [Authority].  No wonder that when you have to take a standardized test, they make you mark whether you are male or female [Documents]; testers are figuring out all the differences between women and men to better understand them.  I have always seen how my brothers cannot seem to understand my gender, so their lack of understanding will extend long into the future  [past fact/future fact].  Women are made of 1000 thoughts all at once, bundles of contradiction, and pretty faces; men are made of 1 thought at once, practicality, and muscles [Whole/Parts].  No wonder men cannot understand women, but women can pretty much understand men.  Men are not complex; they are simple [Contraries], but women are the exact opposite.  The feasibility of men understanding women is incredibly slim [circumstances].  Therefore, because men are so different from women, men cannot understand women.