There are hundreds of different ways to make yourself relaxed throughout stressful periods of time in your life. Many drummers would argue that drumming is the best way to do that. Instead of relieving stress through beating a punching bag or squeezing a stress ball, [similarity/ difference] drumming is a way to push force downwards and let gravity move a wooden stick upwards to make beautiful music. [definition]. Although many people may not agree that drumming is a great way to relieve stress, they won’t know until they try it for themselves. [antecedent/ consequence]. For example, I drummed all throughout high school and it benefited me in such a way that I know with a surety that I will continue to utilize drumming to help me relax and unwind. [past fact/future fact]. Even my own mother could distinguish the difference in me from when I did and did not drum. [witness].
Mongolians and West Africans have used drumming for centuries as therapeutical techniques to help maintain physical, mental, and spiritual health. [testimony]. Michael Winkleman, an author for the American Journal of Public Health, even said that drumming is a superb way to combat drug addictions because it takes your minds off of things and helps one refocus. [authority]. Even if we aren’t fighting addictions, we know that drumming is a way to build muscle memory and self confidence and release pressure and energy simultaneously. [contraries]. The greatest musicians argue that music comes directly from God, hence the reason why we sing hymns in church, and this goes hand in hand with the divine nature of drumming - no pun intended. [The Supernatural]. Now that drumming is becoming increasingly popular worldwide, millions of people will have the opportunity to test this drum relaxation method for themselves. [possible/impossible].
You could introduce an element of degree by mentioning how this works for most people that try it. Also, instead of saying "although many people might not agree", you could say "although some people."
ReplyDeleteAn interesting argument. I always enjoying seeing the perspective others have and why they believe in such perspective. You thought about the Mongolians and West Africans is definitely testimony but if you were to reward it you could make that statement parts/whole as well as definition. I find it interesting that we often use these methods without even realizing it and we know how to use them.
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