Gratitude for the Glorious Game

Oh graceful pigskin [synecdoche], how I enjoy watching thee float over defenders, how I enjoy watching thee run through defenders [apostrophe and complexio]. Defenders [anadiplosis], you fools, who can stop Peyton Manning? [rhetorical question]. Touchdowns are all he throws [hyperbole]. My beloved Broncos, beam [alliteration] is all I do as I watch you gallop past the hash marks [metonymy]. How grateful I am for the day you win at the grandest stage of them all [periphrasis]. Then the world will know what I already know, that you are a raging bull [metaphor], with the rest of the league trampled beneath your feet. Oh how grateful I am to have witnessed you Manning up, and missed the Tebow trials [contention]. But should I be grateful? Should I praise this day? Naturally I suppose [ratiocinatio], for better now we are then ere before [anastrophe]. But what about Elway? Aye, a beast he was, but not a one can match what Manning has done [anthypophora]. The records quake as he thunders nearer and nearer [personification]. I wouldn’t want to bring attention the records he has broken, like career touchdowns, or yards in a season, [paralipsis] for any who watch can see his glory. And once they see his glory they too may be grateful for that pigskin.