Just Tell Me You're Proud

 I never liked tomatoes growing up.  I actually quite hated them to be honest.  Yet, every time my grandmother would ask, “Would you like tomatoes on your sandwich?” I would look over at my incredibly awesome cousin, see him nod his head yes, and then nod my head as well.  I can’t even remember how many times I spit those things out in the trash.What is it that convinces us to do things we don’t even enjoy?  Many times in my life I’ve made decisions because of the influence of others whether through demonstration, words, or peer pressure.  Almost all of our actions and thoughts are influenced one way or another by others. 

  One of the most powerful influences for me has been words coming from immediate family.  I am not shy, and for the most part, I don’t care what random people say.  When it comes to my family, however, they almost have the ability to control me.  One of my main love languages is words of affirmation.  If I can do something that will help me to receive praise and loving words- you can bet I’ll do it.  It’s only as I’ve grown older that I realize how my cunning older siblings got me to do so many things for them.  I believe my mom was the best.  On a specific occasion, my mom told me how proud she was to have such a great helper that cleans.  I was about seven at that time.  I didn’t even like cleaning.  She had tried bribes, grounding me, comparing me to my siblings... nothing worked.  But those words hit me.  I have been the best helper to this day with getting the house clean.  In college I have a hard time keeping things clean.  I am realizing that a big part is the lack of praise.  I feel like I have no reason to push hard without their reassuring my awesomeness.  A curse or a blessing?  I guess I’ll just be sure to tell my future husband what to say in if he wants a clean house.