Montaigne, in his essay Of
the Resemblance of Children to their Father’s, asserts “if [the body] seems
to find the disease evaporate… in making loud outcries… let it roar as it will.”
People are not thought less of for crying when experiencing
physical pain, or seeking comfort after a hard experience, so why are those who
express the difficulty in their daily life so looked down upon? Names like “crybaby”
or “Debbie downer” are popular, but is the outward expression of inward
difficultly really that wrong? After all, venting a problem is often seen as
cathartic, and conventional wisdom says that bottling up your problems is
unwise. Therefore, frequently expressing the pain of your problems may just
help to relieve the stress of them. On the other hand, constantly dwelling on
your problems offer you no escape from them.
Additionally, my own experience with people who are
constantly roaring at miniscule pains shows that they can be dang annoying. Communicating in this fashion stilts human interaction because it makes it so people don't want to talk to each other. I
once knew a girl who complained about every little thing, a behavior that I
found often extended to blaming other for her problems, and it creates a
vicious cycle wherein those around her feel the need to vent their frustration
about her complaining by complaining to others. While it is very possible that
by expressing their displeasure it relieves their pain, I believe an unexpected
side effect of that attitude is the loss of people willing to associate with
that person. Ultimately a person gets to choose how they handle the problems they
suffer, but large outcries should be saved for proportionally large problems.
I agree with your point on complaining. It should not be so looked down upon in my opinion, since, as you say (and I agree with you on this), venting can be cathartic.
ReplyDeleteHowever, I also agree that "large outcries should be saved for proportionally large problems." I think you make a good point on both sides of this issue, and I believe, as with most things, the best approach is a balanced approach, in this case meaning that we should vent but only as appropriate.
I somewhat disagree with this opinion. You make an argument about having a balanced approach but how do you find the balance. For one, a balance may be far different than another. For example, as I read the Discourses of Free Will, you can feel both Erasmus and Martin Luther "vent" in a sense on why their view point is correct. At times, I found their balance of opinion and fact tolerable and sometimes, I sense a "whine" almost. For some, it may be an appropriate amount but for others, it may be viewed as annoying almost. The balance comes from bother the author and audience so it is difficult to argue that there is a correct approach.
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