Wouldn't we all like to get As all the time? Perhaps we envision in our mind's eye a picture very much like the one above: an apple and an exuberant A+ in red marker wishing us well done. Personally I very much like As. I like to work hard to get them. In high school it was A or bust. Nothing short of perfection satisfied. My first two semesters of college were very much the same. My third semester, however, marked the beginning of a radical change in my perception. For the first time ever I left the land of As (and an occasional B) and traveled deep into the depths of grades that were neigh on failing. That encounter was terribly frustrating and disheartening. It was, however, necessary - in it I discovered a new outlook on school and life I may have never otherwise realized.
For the majority of my life school has been less about learning and more about grades. Learning is great and all but the grades were really what counted. Every ounce of energy would be invested into getting that B to an A. And once an A was achieved minimal effort would be put forth. The basic idea was put forth as little effort as possible to get the highest grade possible. Did I learn with this philosophy? Yes. Was a passionate about what I learned? No.
In winter semester 2012 all of that changed. I was about to go on my mission and I was overcome with a strange disease known as missionitis. If you've heard of senioritis its similar to that. My focus was lost and my grades plummeted. My mother's usual end of semester interview was impossible to bear. "How did you do in school?" she asked. I dodged the question. I journeyed down to the depths of a D- and I am happy to report that I have returned to the land of As and Bs. But I returned with a new perspective. Do grades matter? Yes. Do they matter now as much as they did before? No. I've embraced the idea that school is about learning and personal growth. My motivation to do well in class has changed. I've decided to be motivated solely by passion. Many times this equates to high grades but sometimes it doesn't. I'm okay with that. What really matters isn't the grade - its what I learn getting that grade.
I think that when I was in the third grade I did a little bit of math to see how much longer I would be in school and I realized that my entire life up to that point had been shorter than the number of years that I would still be studying. After resigning myself to that fact I decided that I was going to have as much fun as possible as a student. I think that decision (usually) helped me to get pretty good grades, while still keeping what I was learning as a priority.
ReplyDeleteI really like that you've acknowledged the challenge it is to get decent grades. I wouldn't have immediately thought of this as an exploration but it totally is. I know because I've done the same thing. Made me question my value as a person because grades were so important to my parents growing up. I got rewarded for good grades, punished for bad. I realized that grades have nothing to do with who I am. Good post!
ReplyDeleteI, too, had a similar soul searching experience, except mine happened my freshman year at BYU. I took on a classload that was much too much for a person who only has 24 hours in a day. I left my final final exam in tears, as my felt my spotless report cards of yore shake their heads disapprovingly. However, as hard and disappointing as my classes were that semester, I learned so much. I fell in love with what it actually means to be in school and apply myself. Though my grades didn't reflect it that semester, I was so grateful for the opportunity I had to regain perspective.
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