The Duel

First Version: "The Duel"

Kairos / Audience: I typically tell this story when people ask. Which happens when people want to get to know my wife and me better. It usually starts out as small talk, but the story thrusts the conversation and relationship forward.

After going on about 8 dates, I was stunned to learn that Camille had been waiting for a missionary for two years. We had already held hands and spent quite a bit of time together; I had thought that we would soon start dating.

She had different plans.

The week he came to visit, I asked her out for the Tuesday devotional. Fortunately, she accepted and we held hands the whole time. I had assumed that meant that she had made her decision and that she wanted to date me instead.

She had different plans.

On Wednesday I asked her to join me for Elizabeth Smart's speech. She told me that she had plans to go with Ben (yes her missionary's name was Ben). I was a little offended, but tried to keep my cool. About an hour later, she called back and said that Ben was not going to be able to make it and asked me if I would want to go with her. I agreed. She called back about an hour later and informed me that Ben was now able to go and asked me to all go together. Me, Ben, and her. I responded 'you can just go with him that's fine.' to which she responded, 'no, I think it would be good for you two to meet.'

Her plans were a duel.

For the thirty minutes we waited in line only to find out we couldn't get in, Camille's hands were in her pockets, Ben looked at me weird, and I tried to lighten the mood. Each effort was useless. And Camille said we could go to her apartment and play games. As we walked back I said I had homework to do, so I needed to go to the library. After walking in the library doors, I walked right out of the others and went home.

Did her plans work?

I texted her that night and said that Ben was a very nice guy and that I was happy to meet him. Ben told her how awkward that situation was and that he didn't want anything like that to happen again. Needless to say, she's my wife, so it worked out great!
[Words: 368]


Second version: "The True Trophy Wife"

Kairos / Audience: Our children, when I want to share how much I had to fight for their mom.

Did you know what your mother did to me? Let's just say I had to work for her.[litotes] She set up her former missionary and me for a duel. As soon as I started to feel that I had your mother in the bag, she told me that she had a missionary and that he just got home and that he was visiting in two days.[Anaphora] But that didn't bother me, I was pretty sure that she had fallen for me. In fact, the day after he arrived to visit, she agreed to a date with me and she held my hand the whole time, and she didn't say a word about him. Until I asked her out for the following day. She mentioned that she had plans with Ben.

So, that's how it went: One day Ben, the other me.[Ellipsis] Pure torture.[Parenthesis] Her decision-making skills seemed slower than molasses. [metaphor]

Not long after, she called and told me that Ben bailed and that she wanted to go with me. My first reaction was to deny her, but I dug deep down and knew that I wanted to go, so I agreed.  [Cause and Effect] Within minutes she called back and said that Ben could go and that we should all go together.

There we were. The three of us together each hoping it would end without a fight, but with a decision. It was obvious how much your mother still liked him, but was still in even more torture than I trying to make the decision. I lied and said I had homework to finish, so I could leave them to their decision. But my post-date text proved to be life-changing (It's a good thing I knelt down to pray before I sent it). [Supernatural] I mentioned that Ben was a cool guy and that I was happy to meet him. Ben was much less optimistic about the meeting. [Litotes]

And that's how I won your mother.