Detention and Me

First Version: Working the System

Kairos/Audience: I often tell this story to close family and friends to emphasize how I brown-nosed my way through high school.

We were taking a test, a practice ACT, I believe.  The room was silent as an anxious group of sophomores endeavored to take the exam for the first time.  About halfway through, with already sweaty palms, caused by the stress of the questions, one of my nightmares became a reality.

“In this crazy life, and through these crazy times, it’s you, it’s you; you make me sing.  You’re every line, you’re every word, you’re everything.”

My Michael Buble ringtone had betrayed me.  Completely paralyzed with embarrassment and fear, I sat.  Thirty seconds.  THIRTY SECONDS.  Mr. Wood did not stir until the entire ringtone had passed.

“Bring your phone up, you can get it from the vice principle after class,” was all he said.

Okay, one—that’s ridiculous.  He had to have been the only teacher in the school who gave such an extreme punishment for something so small and unintentional.  At any rate, I had a humiliating walk to recover the phone and was given a week of after school detention to compensate for the drop in my citizenship grade for the class.

Me?!  Detention?!  I didn’t even know that detention was a thing.  I thought it was only a thing in movies.  And, crazy enough, the scene that I walked into the following day mirrored the most stereotypical of movie scenes.  Paper airplanes being thrown, students sitting on desks—I didn’t recognize anyone there, they were definitely not the “honors class type.”

As I walked in, I knew I could get out of it.  I was well versed in brown-nosing.  So, I sat in the front row, perfectly organized the homework assignments I had designated to do for the hour, and diligently worked—completely ignoring the circus that was ensuing behind me.  At the end of the hour, I smiled and thanked the teacher who was overseeing the detention.  As I walked out, he stopped me.

“Why are you here?” he asked, completely confused.

With the sweetest voice, that couldn’t help but cause sympathy, I explained how I had been “unjustly” treated.

He proceeded to sign me off for the rest of the week, making my five day sentence a mere day.

Second Version:  True to Who I Am

Kairos/Audience:  A young women lesson on the power of having a positive attitude in the midst of adversity.

I had just started at a new school where I knew no one and no one knew me.  I was taking many hard classes, Mr. Wood’s Honors English was the hardest class to ever be created [hyperbole].  English had always been my best subject—a place where I could shine.  However, my desire to create a personal identity among these new peers was shattered the third week of school in this, the very class where I wanted to establish myself.

My phone accidentally went off during class, an offense that caused me to earn a week of after school detention [cause/effect].  I was mortified.  I was going to have a terrible reputation.  What was I doing at this place?  I felt that I was losing my identity—the straight A’s student, student government member… [ellipsis] who was now the detentioner [anthimeria]? While my old “accomplishments” were not obvious, I knew that I still had a choice in my attitude. [past fact/future fact] I prayed that my true self would be able to shine through this difficult situation [the supernatural].

As I attended the first day of detention, I decided that I would look at it as a good opportunity to work on homework—some specifically designated time.  I tirelessly worked the hour away.  When the time was over, I thanked the teacher at the front of the room, sure that he didn't want to be there as much as I didn't.  Upon observing my decided diligence and admirable attitude [alliteration] during the hour, the teacher did not make me finish my “sentence”.