How You Doin'?

“Hey how are you doing?”

“Good. You?”

“Yeah good!”

As human beings, what makes us ask and answer this question? We know the response (usually good even though they may not be), and we know they usually ask us the same question back (and we usually answer back with good). These casual conversation starters are modern day dogmas that we have become accustomed to because that’s what everyone else does.

The question becomes, where was the changed frame of reference that got society to resort to such meaningless casual conversation starters. Researching this topic, I came across an example of the 1950's cartoons where the Beaver family would always ask everyone how they were doing and get a bright and enthusiastic response or something that led to comedic drama. I imagine back around those times and before, they didn't ask how someone was doing and expect good as an answer all the time. It was more comprehensive and understandable so another person could actually know how exactly that person was doing. Today’s way of asking this question is more an acknowledgement of someone's presence rather than the actual question. Sometime between then and now, a changed frame of reference set us up in this automatic process.

A lot of times when I do this, I really don’t care how the person I’m asking is really doing. It’s usually someone I see in passing or occasionally. I think many people can agree with this. The question is, how do we liberate ourselves from this accepted authoritative regime? It’s one that will seem to continue unless society as a whole contributes to the idea that this is pointless and to only start conversations with people if we actually care about the response.